THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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