it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
