He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
