I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
