I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
PANTIES FOUND
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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