yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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