It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
