You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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