he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
