guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
