ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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