My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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