I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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