He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
