He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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