Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
