No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
