i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
