I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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