Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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