Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
