It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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