no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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