if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
