im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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