i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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