fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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