Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
