Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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