i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
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i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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