someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
