We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
