This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
