He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize