i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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