Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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