OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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