Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
