Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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