so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
