My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize