420 ftw
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
