is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
