In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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