the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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