idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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