Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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