He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
