all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
