So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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