Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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