why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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