You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
