He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
