this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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