Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
