I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
