The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
