So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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