Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
