he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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