Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
