I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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